{ looking back }

For as long as I can remember, I've been dreaming about the day I get married. As a little girl, I used to sit and cut out wedding dresses out of bridal magazines and kept them in a box under my bed. I'm a girly-girl to the MAX, always playing dress-up, changing my outifit 5 times a day and spending hours playing with my hair and makeup. I've always been a hopeless romantic, who believed in fairytales and true love. The girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, who fell hard and fast. As I've gotten older, and had my heart broken a few times, I've been more cautious about dating and even at times, closed off my heart because the idea of having it not work out again, was just too painful. 

When I met Cole, I was in this place of not really even wanting to date because I just felt exhausted from putting myself out there and not finding what I was looking for. But, after Cole and I went on our first date, I knew there was something different about him. We had this instant connection that I wanted to explore. I was so scared that I'd have my heart broken again but, I knew that I'd regret not giving this a shot. It's hard for me to admit but I fell for him quicker than I think I even realized. It was so refreshing to be with someone who was looking for the same things I was. We both wanted to be in a relationship that was meaningful and fun and fulfilling. I wanted someone who wanted to be committed to JUST me, (most the boys I had dated in Utah had one eye open for the next best thing!). Someone who valued me, someone who was willing to be there when things got tough and didnt run off at the first sign of trouble. Someone I just couldnt get enough of. Someone who would love me for me and that I didnt have to put on a show for. Cole was all of these things and more. He was sweet, kind and thoughtful and constantly, going out of his way to show me he wanted this to work between us. (he still does the cutest little things for me all the time). Cole helped allow my heart to be open again and I felt safe with him. I didnt feel like I needed to prove my worth to him. He made it easy to fall in love with him.

Anyway, Im totally rambling, but its November! The month of gratitude and giving thanks for all the blessings in our lives. Ive just been thinking about how grateful I am for the way things have worked out in my life. Our choices determine the course our lives take. Ive thought about this a lot. I know if Cole and I had made just a few different decisions in our lives, we may have never met. But, I couldn't be happier right now, planning the wedding I've been daydreaming about since I was a little girl. But, more importantly, that I found a man who is everything Ive ever wanted. The man I'd been searching for since I heard my first fairytale, my prince, my true love.

XOXO, 
Natalie