{ 28 days }

It's officially wedding month! I can't believe it's here! I feel like we've been engaged forever and not long enough at the same time. I feel such a mixture of emotions. I'm feeling stressed out, so excited, and anxious and nervous all at the same time. Planning a wedding isn't like planning a birthday party or a family get-together! There are so many little details. Like, buying cake stands, and what type of containers are we goin to be our cutlery in and who is going to be in charge of gifts at the end of the night. It goes on and on. I have been waking up in the middle of the night, thinking about things we need to do, or things we need to remember the day of. I have a few lists to help us remember but there are so many details. I have a vision of how I want everything to look like but, there's this anxious anticipation of everything. I know some of that anxiety wont go away until the day of the wedding. 

I have been in so many of my girlfriends' weddings (yes, Im like the last of my group to get married!) and with that experience under my belt, I've always thought to myself, as Ive seen girlfriends fret and fuss that, "it's one day! you put so much into ONE day! and you probably won't remember most of it." 

Now, that my big day is coming, I've totally lost sight of that perspective. There are things that I can't imagine my wedding day without. Like, the perfect venue. Some have asked me why we arent just doing it at one of the local church meeting houses and sorry, no matter what you do to decorate, you can't hide the basketball hoops or the gym flooring and funky walls. I had to have my favorite (and quite expensive) peonies in my bouquet. Or, a videographer, which some might find unnecessary. Or having a big sleepover with my bridesmaids the night before my wedding. 

I'm starting to realize as it gets closer and closer, that, yes, these things will all make our wedding memorable and beautiful. But, at the end of that special day, all that matters is that Im marrying the most amazing man. It doesn't matter if my centerpieces dont exactly match the pictures I've pinned on Pinterest. Or if the cake doesnt taste like The Cake Boss baked it himself. Or, if our pictures dont get featured on Utah Bride Blog. What matters is that we are making vows to love, honor and cherish each other forever. What matters most is the man waiting for me at the end of the aisle.  What matters is that I'm choosing him to be my partner in life and that every day after our "I Do's" that I keep choosing him. That I make him and our family my top priority. That I think of him in all my decisions. 

I am also grateful for his wonderful family. Cole comes from a blended family and everyone has been so welcoming and supportive of us and I couldnt be happier to be joining such an amazing family. Tonight, the Lallatin and Aaron sides (Cole's stepdad's side and his mom's family) all came together to celebrate our upcoming wedding. We had a great time and it was so wonderful to meet some of them I hadnt met yet and get to know them all more. I look forward to many more family gatherings over the years and more memories with them.